In the last few journal entries I described a process I recently started. The magic process was one in which I could remove an emotion, feeling, thought process, or any psychological / emotional feeling holding me back from the process of Initiation. Even those things causing me discursive thoughts in my day to day life.
The process I outlined, for me (and my personal gnosis / bias) could be integrated into sending the raw emotion as a programmed energy (similar to the Golden Dawn’s creation of artificial elementals) to accomplish a task. Meaning it’s pulled out of me, given a name, a task, a time period, and a final order of reintegration back into nature.
I began to get results. Not just the main result of the discursive thought leaving my system, but the programmed magical element was producing a return.
What I wanted to jot down for reference, is that emotions used in magic (for me at least) are ultimately consumed. That is, I don’t sit in anger – the anger is consumed in the act of magic. Depression doesn’t become an even greater constant companion, it gets consumed.
This consumption is not Total. Anger may rise up again, Depression may appear once more. But each time it is synthesized into this work of magic, that current feeling or thought is consumed.
Consumption of the discursive thoughts and emotions leaves me feeling more of a void. The voidness is a calm state wherein I can make better decisions. I spend more time reading spiritual work, or focusing back upon my spiritual goals.
Yet I’ve noticed that I need or require the raw emotions to work this type of magic. I don’t know what to call this magic… emotive magic? Whatever it is, it is empowered by the Will, Belief and Intent charged with the battery of raw emotion.
This means the raw emotion must exist. There must be a cause to frustrate, poke and prod my emotions, then this emotional state can be tapped like a personal resource to empower a magical act. It will get consumed, and in this exchange there is both the magical working and the loss of the emotional discord.
In time I may not need the magical workings as much…. or I might. I don’t know. Time will tell. I need to monitor this work. If I exhaust all powerful emotions, to where they no longer rise within me, I would be the void. Perhaps there’s nothing wrong with becoming a void. Or perhaps I can never exhaust this personal resource of raw emotions, anymore than the Buddhist view of Hindu Maya could stop producing “its myriad of distractions.”