Back to the theme of Darkness, and hence “Skotadi,”1 I was in meditation last night. In the visualized landscape of my work, I had an experience that illuminated more of my persona gnosis on the subject of Light and Dark.
What follows is my personal bias. It may sound correct or false to the reader, irregardless of feeling, the reader shouldn’t accept what I’m about to say as their truth, until they’ve tested it. It may not be in accordance to their own goals and that is also fine.
After I clear my mind with some breath counting, I tend to visualize a black pyramid surrounding me. This, for me, represents my Individual nature that I am constantly cultivating. Being black, it is receptive and not oppressive (which would be white). A white pyramid symbolizes (to me) a barrier. I use those for creating barriers around people in the household while I’m doing ritual work.
As I visualize the Black Pyramid, I hold the feeling of being cut off from the light of others impressed upon me. This is done by visualizing a complete solar eclipse. Feeling the absence of projection, thoughts and feelings being thrust upon me, I move on to the next step.
The next step was to visualize the inside of the Pyramid wall facing me. That slopped wall showing an imagine of where I wish to enter. In this case, the Twilight land of the Black Sun. The Black Sun representing to me, that state of Individuality blocking the solar emissions of other faiths, cults, groups and religions.
Entering into the land, was through the visualized passing into the inner wall of the Pyramid. In the twilight land I sat and waited. Open to communicate, but waiting non the less.
A feeling of a presence occurs to me, and I “turn” to look at it. I see myself as though casting a flashlight-like ray to what is near me. The “presence” ducks the beam. As I try and illuminate it, it continues to evade my attempts to identify it.
Then, it occurred to me. The imagery I’m seeing here is instructing me in the nature of Darkness. It is not up to me to shine some “light on the matter,” and thereby define something in shape, form or idea. I was trying to imprint my will to provide me some Objective truth… some “what is that” radiating from the presence. Some definition of what was there.
I stopped. Instead of pushing for something to be identified by another, or by its nature, I gave up on the idea of needing it to be one thing or another. I just accepted it was there.
Then I came to a realization about my mundane life. This is also my problem in the natural world. Here in the natural world I often find myself attempting to define a situation, person, and so on in a specific way. That too is light.
From another perspective, what appears around me is not necessarily the label that either I (or another) has labeled it as. I must discover the nature of things from my own personal Gnosis.
What separates the projection of light and the act of Gnosis, is that light in this example is to seek a narrative, or identification either through someone else’s thoughts, or in the idea that the situation or person itself has some reality.
In either case, I’m not seeking, but accepting. The later is the RHP modality of accepting “god” or “spiritual presence.” The former is the Individual approach of the LHP, seeking to become an Individual through the act of self work and effort.
Then it dawned on me… that the magical operation here could have been achieved, if instead of expecting the “presence or being” to be self-identified (or identified through some grimoire) to be created through the Magician’s will.
Through the Darkness the Magician could reach in and establish an identity. Such work would not rely on a Grimoire, another’s teaching, or in the expectation the being itself will relay what it is. This is only arrived at by the self work of the Individual’s own personal Gnosis.