At several days away from 2020, I thought of doing a review of where I’m at. What’s holding my attention and where my thoughts are aligning as I walk the Path of Darkness (Left Hand Path).

I wonder sometimes about this attraction of ours, to the world we experience. It’s only natural to want to be part of it. That yearning is so deep and embedded within our nature. Desires, frustrations, highs and equal lows keep the attention of most people. Politics, social commitments, engagements, family and friends, all of this fixes one’s attention.

Groundwork

My belief is that our attention identifies who and what we are. If we get an injury, the pain focuses our awareness to that point on the body. In such a case we identify with the body. But the body is limited. It has no real experience with those things outside our physical senses.

Through processes like meditation, the mind stills and awareness expands. There seems (to me) to be an inverse relationship between expansive awareness and body identity. Expanding awareness brings us out of our bodily slumber into states of Gnosis.

Gnosis, being the direct experience, or direct perception of truth. As direct experience is personal in nature, it follows that expansion leads to a sense of Individuality, rather than expansion into Oneness with something else. This is the characteristic change, in my view, between the Right and Left hand paths of spirituality.

While some may protest that the Left Hand path is destined to reflect darker imagery, I don’t think that’s the core of it. That might be a choice in the matter of the Initiate. I also am skeptical of those who seek engagement with the taboo and pleasures of the world, as the work of the Left Hand Path. By engaging in pleasures, drugs, sex, attention is diverted to the body experience, which gets back to the first point on attention….

Limitation vs. Expansion

Getting back to Awareness, if our awareness is kept at the realm of our greatest limitation, we become identified as limited beings. In other words, if we obsess over politics, social encounters and the like, then that’s our state of being and with it our boundary of potentiality.

What extent of power does the human body have? If someone protests that the human state is great in potential, then they are only considering it on a very limited scale. As humans we can’t change much at all. Possibly we could change our world, but true external change requires an understand that the Self is not the body.

Body alone will not gain us much, as it steadily decays and is dead within a hundred years or so. If that is all one is (the body), then very little can be gained. Nothing would persist, and all is lost at death.

Magic

It is not by argument that one accepts a Soul, non-corporeal Mind, or other expansive expression of Self. That can only truly be known through direct experience. This, in my opinion, is the basis for magical instruction.

Even the crudest of magic (physical needs gained) establishes a truism within the individual. It creates a Gnosis that there exists a non-corporeal state of being that causes change to occur in conformity with will.

Sadly, all too often in our current age, the Left Hand Path magicians have all but tossed out the idea of real magic. Instead they grapple with magic as though it were some sort of therapy, or NLP (Neural Linguistic Programming). Rarely does one find a Left Hand Path magician who actually believes in non-natural magic (magic result that is not incurred through profane effort).

Performing magic in order to gain money, health and the like, can open up to the possibility of the playability of the world we exist in. We began to get a glimpse into the idea that things are not what they seem. Physicality is not “all there is.” These truths are learned through direct experience, and never by book learning or parroting the words of an elder.

Yet physical gain is a very limited use of magic. It’s limited as it still roots one’s attention at the physical world. A greater goal would be that of changing the nature of the self. By aligning our nature to an expanded aspiration, we grow a deeper treasure that will hopefully persist beyond bodily death.

Alchemical Transformation

While attention on emotional or physical stimulus holds our attention at a limited state of being (body), that attention can be refocused on a greater goal. Perhaps we could call this alchemical. If the word is too cumbersome we could call it something else. In essence, the sensation of pain, pleasure, emotional trauma can be harnessed as a powerful energy source.

I’ve talked about this process as I’ve been doing it, under the headings of “emotional harvesting,” and “emotional cannibalism.” It can be physical sensation, not just emotion, but emotions are very powerful to work with. By taking that strong essence out of our nature, it can be reprogrammed to go about fulfilling a different – a Greater goal.

Instead of being fixated on jealousy for a co-worker, the strong emotion could be repurposed to opening the doorways to spiritual Gnosis. This process is of course is my personal Gnosis, and as such it may not work for others.

Individuality vs. Other Teachings

Personal Gnosis, is in my view, the prospect of the Left Hand Path and leads to Supreme Individuality. This isn’t a state of dressing different. Instead it’s a state of detachment from all other forms of influence. The filters of one’s past faiths (Abrahamic religions for example) are expelled.

Yet often I read comments on Left Hand Path occult books, “not enough step by step.” When I first listened to the Black Flame Immersion podcast, they struck a chord with me. They spoke about not following the Gnosis of someone else, but rather in seeking one’s on personal Gnosis. I’ve had that latent feeling deep down within me.

In fact it’s the sole reason I’ve left so many spiritual groups in the past. At some point a group becomes cumbersome, much like a weight around our feet. We start to feel answers coming to us, answers outside the group mind. The group doesn’t identify with this, because they are following the Gnosis of a past leader(s). Friction develops and the Individuality surfaces enough to exit the group.

While many people have an experience of Individuality rising to the top, few seem to stick with it. Often (as with me) they jump into yet another group, that might appear to be a better fit. In time, they again feel the disharmony between their Individuality and the Group mindset. A person like this might change groups dozens of times.

There’s a fellow who calls himself a Guru. He’s a modern teacher of psychic phenomenon. I’ve known people who attest to his miracles, and that he teaches his students to perform wild things. I even sat with his material off and on for several years. It has its upsides, but the downside is that nothing deep is attained. We learn that the physical world isn’t as real as it appears to be by making things happen, and I can attest to the result. But what then? What growth is there? What ultimate goal is there? Even as they teach, their goal was to “become one with the Divine.” Through such a process, it would appear that all that is gained is ultimately lost.

The same goes for occult readers. They seek the stereo instructions to accomplish some goal: get rich, more sex, curse an enemy, become invisible. Maybe they get a book relating to these subjects and they attain some degree of success. These are all well and good, and perhaps show a person that there is something greater than the physical world – but it lacks substance. Even if the goal is Great, such as “becoming one with their Holy Guardian Angel,” such aspirations are the Gnosis of someone else and not the Individual seeker.

Sometimes I sound like I am condemning knowledge. I’m not. In my personal path I’ve chosen specific people for guidance. I’ve read a variety of books on the subject of occultism, left and right hand path magic and mysticism. The conclusion I reached is not to avoid teachings, but to not rely on the teachings of others as one’s personal path.

The Path of Darkness, as I like to think of the Left Hand spiritual Path, is not one of parroting someone else. One doesn’t “follow the Guru.” One is the Guru. But not the nature that has its attention at the bodily layer of reality.

Perhaps a person doesn’t call it their guru… perhaps they say they aren’t parroting ideas of others, and yet I look on social media and see students embedded in a group, parroting the same ideas. It doesn’t feel like its Individual Gnosis.

That is why I came to a conclusion that Group synthesis is in error of the Left Hand Path. Groups can and do offer some sense of keeping one’s reality in check, but they hinder a person far worse. It is in the set boundary of belief that a group is formed and that boundary defines what one is capable of attaining or believing in. This holds us limited and in lack.

My Goal

My goal solidified at some point. I began to focus on my most expanded sense of Self. Socrates called this the Daemon, and many authors (such as Don Webb) have discussed this topic in a variety of Left Hand Path literature.

Like anything new, I started with an open mind. As I delved deeper I began to have an awareness that all I was connecting with was the Daemon. This isn’t to say or suggest that nothing else (such as an external being of Individuality) doesn’t exist, but that I have only encountered an aspect of myself.

It became clear to me that my error all those years in thinking that the same God was behind all faiths (due to my awareness of an expanded presence of peacefulness in each religion and occult group), was really the result of my own awakening to a greater and more expanded sense of Self.

This Self was with me always and it appeared in a variety of different faiths. I mistakenly took it as something not me. But deep down I think I always suspected it was me. When I say “me,” I do not mean my body or brain mechanism. It is something beyond that as it empowers magic. It offers a power that drives change in conformity with will.

I knew that this Self was a fleeting experience. I sought to get closer, in order to get deeper into a pantheon of some sort. That was my initial goal as that’s what EVERYONE does… they get a pantheon going and start working with it.

My personal practice wasn’t like everyone else. I didn’t find pantheon to work with. Nothing ever clicked. In fact the void is all I felt. That disconnect from the expression of physical manifestation that radiates all about. Disconnecting form it, like falling into the shadow of an eclipse, allowed me to feel a new sensation. The sensation of Self. That most expanded sense of Self.

My goal shifted from calling down Lucifer, or Set, to connecting with this Self. Becoming aware of it, and Identifying with it was freeing me. The experiences were always fleeting, but the more I practiced and reached out the greater the bond.

This has been my current goal. Whether there is a source to the Daemon is beyond my personal Gnosis. I can only say this is where I’m at. I’ve arrived to this point in personal Gnosis.

As one last comment I’d like to mention that there is a great Sacrifice in the work. Sacrifice becomes one of the most common elements of my daily work. What I’m sacrificing are elements of my old nature. Every time I deal with the Daemon I come to realize there’s a person, a group, a family member or friend that is holding me back. I’ve terminated these relationships, and the energy taken back and propelled me forward.

I look forward to seeing how the end of 2020 will compare with this article.

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