Early this morning I sat in my meditation space. I’ve been in an inner conflict now for some time. I haven’t addressed it in posts here, but perhaps it’s time to write about it. As I’ve written in many other posts the concept of a personal Daemon is very central to my philosophy. I began to wonder, however, if there was anything beyond the Daemon. What exactly is the cosmology of the Universe? Is this something I can know? Is my truth universal? Or is my truth personal?
To the last question, I believe my truth is for me. Meaning that what I tell you is not necessarily true for anyone else. Seek your own individual truth and evidence.
For this question, to my own personal faith, I ask this question… Is there anything beyond the Daemon, or are all manifestations (paranormal, influence, etc.) aspects of the inner will, empowered by the personal Daemon?
This idea started to rise in my consciousness, in a more simplistic form, as I started on the Left Hand Path. I became aware of the evidence of paranormal events throughout my life, in many different religions. I was left with two approaches here:
- Either there was one Source behind all religions, giving birth to non-natural/paranormal experiences and truisms.
- Or, there is another idea: That all phenomenon (non-natural, paranormal, inspiration, etc.) are the result of the personal Daemon. So expansive is this idea, that it can appear as an external “God.” Yet in the end it is the work of the individual (whether they know it or not).
I’ve been feeling the pull to point #2 above. I feel I was bringing in my personal Daemon (unknowingly most of the time) as the external experience of “God” or “spirit” or “psychism.” This explains to me why I had such experiences in every religion, wether right hand or left hand path.
Beyond the Daemon
As I look at creation today, watching the rain fall on the California leaves turning gold and red, I feel there has to be a creation point. The host of Black Flame Immersion feels that the creation point is the Demiurge. Perhaps he’s right. I can’t say. When I can say, it will be only my truth…. which shouldn’t be said. But I wonder how I feel about it….
I reached out to the writer Don Webb about this as well… Is there something beyond the Daemon? He wrote me back, not a statement, but offering more to think about. He talked from my frame of reference and spoke of 3 forms of me, and one Deity. At one point he wrote, “may Set whisper to the best [me] and may the Hidden [me] shout at [you]…”1
When I read that, I believe Don is suggesting there is a being (whether we call it Set, Satan, Lucifer), as he says, “May Set whisper…” Meaning that there is a Deity of the isolate intelligence at play. We could easily substitute Lucifer or some other name here, in fact he mentions several Deities in his response to me.
But why do I feel so cut off from any experience? When I believed in dogma, I had the feeling, the sensation. Now, no longer. It could be a dry spell… or is it discovering something new… that nothing is there but the Daemon?
I’m reminded of a response to a letter I wrote the host of Black Flame Immersion. I bought up several things and feelings. To which he responded to the sense of being cut off or the dry aspects of the path. “When you enter these states of nothing… it is something to endure and be with the emptiness.”2
This path evokes emptiness in some ways, it pulls at your strings, begging you to cave. Your own hands, your life, your own mind, it’s set to a spiritual kill switch. When you enter these states of nothing or dry spell, it is something to endure and be with the emptiness, embrace the nothing, the barren absence. See it for what it is, parts of you exiting, old ways, bits and pieces of psychological doubt coming to the surface, something to taunt you into submission. These things come and go as you come in and out, they will continue to flow across you, until the moment they no longer need to. Until you are past the flow, past the nothing. You’re doing nothing wrong, because even if you do nothing, it is YOU who is doing it. Doubt is natural, happens to me still, it’s not a test, but an action, a moment in time to tighten the grip. Keep the hold.The Host of Black Flame Immersion
I find the above quote to be very inspirational. It is a motivation to continue on, or “tighten the grip. Keep the hold,”3 as he says here.
To be with the nothing. The emptiness. This is very important. Often I want to chase after the experience. But the truth is, I simply have to BE and let go of EXPECTATION.
This Morning’s Confidence
In this morning’s meditation, I reached out to my personal Daemon and I felt the shift within me. It’s like the expanded sense of me and my awareness of it, becomes the same. I, as me, asked about this feeling of “is there anything beyond?”
What I got was a slew of ideas and feelings. One that I’ll mention here is that the idea of the role of perfection in the path. Perfecting me, means working on me… which means putting the body under my Will – putting the mind under my Will. In that perfection, my awareness of Self would be that of the Daemon Itself.
“Come and see for yourself,” the thoughts of words surfaced to me… Come and perfect into a greater state of awareness and then I’ll know for certain what lies beyond.
Continuing the work – perfecting the Will – this is the path to knowing for myself and my own truth what lies beyond. Perhaps on the way I’ll discover an evidence of what lies beyond (Lucifer, Satan, Set, Ohdin, Kali, etc.). Or perhaps it will be the result and reward of the final perfection of Will.
So my goals right now are to let go of expectation and keep moving forward – As the Host of Black Flame Immersion says, “tighten the grip – keep the hold.”