It dawned on me the past few days, that what I thought was the work of unity (a central source to all philosophy and spirituality) was instead something else entirely.
To really get to what I’m talking about, it’s important to discuss my personal past. I left the Christian faith in 2004, and became a Buddhist at the time – taking my refuge vows. As a Buddhist I was trained in meditation, but also in an approach to life. The most important subjects that arose, were that of Karma and Emptiness.
While most people know what karma is, many do not know what emptiness is. For clarity, I’ll define both (from the Buddhist perspective):
Karma is the law of cause and effect, but on a spiritual level. The idea of Karma is that one’s intention of action, returns to one in time. The more you are schooled in the subject of karma, the more quickly the result manifests.
Emptiness is the lack of self-existence. In this paradigm, nothing is inherently something. It is our perception that colors the Objective Universe around us, making things appear unique to the individual. This gets into the notion of Dependent Origination. This means that I (or you) have the karma (filter based on our previous actions) to see the world a certain way.
As such, I believed in totality it was true… so much so, when I was poor and saddled with debts, I gave what I had to those even more poor than me, believing it would return to me as financial relief. The oddity of it all… it worked. Within two months I was debt free, got a raise and two bonuses. It was like magic.
This idea of Karma and Emptiness was the founding block of all my work since that point. Most likely this was a powerful teaching for me as it was the first religion I chose on my own.
Buddhism though started to rub me the wrong way, and in time I left it for occultism – namely a hermetic order. I was able to verify that the magic of the hermetic order was also working! Strange, as the hermetic order was able to produce results that Buddhism said was not possible.
In time the Hermetic Order was missing something… in my quest, I turned to Scientology (thinking it would bridge Buddhism and Occultism… I was wrong, and played the role of a royal sucker.) But, while in Scientology, I had results there as well…
Leaving Scientology, I went through quick phases of other schools – mostly occult schools. I would taste one, then another, then another. Most of the time, I could manifest a result, but the system was lacking something…
After several more RHP mystical and occult schools, I gave up and was just taking in my life. This moment occurred to me about 6 or 8 years ago, and in that moment I realized something – almost everything I tried worked. It often worked contrary to what others said. If a Buddhist said it was impossible to change the life of another, I found it was possible. If a magician said that working with Enochian magic would destroy me, I found it false. Yet, I was also able to get results.
This became a unified theory for me… I started a blog to collect my thoughts on this (at that time) and over 6 or so years I collected a theory of mine called Henosis. I believed, at that time, that everything was connecting to the SAME source. They gave it different names, and set their own boundaries of expectations (along with warnings for deviation), but they all worked the same.
That, to me, explained why each system had its successes, as well as the feeling of the same “source” in each system… even Buddhism that had no view of a “God,” had a feel of something – a field or a presence. I should have paid more attention to that… How could a belief of no God, have the sensation I felt in other God based systems? I passed it off at the time, as they too were tapping into Source but called it Emptiness.
I thought I found my final thoughts on personal gnosis… I wrote a book about Henosis …. but in time I felt something was STILL MISSING.
As described above, I had thought that all philosophies and religions were pulling from the same Source and that is how I could manifest a success in each system. But something was missing. It was a feeling.
When I started with the Temple of Set material, I was now seeing a system that didn’t accept the unity behind all things. It denied my own personal thoughts of Henosis.
There were some simple practices offered by Don Webb, for the reader to try to see if they got a result… and I got a result! Again, I thought, “same source,” but wait, this group says they are not the same source… maybe they are connecting to the same source under the name and current of Set. So was my thoughts.
Then a new thought came to me… just the other day, I thought:
What if I wasn’t connecting to Source in all those other groups & religions? What if instead I was connecting with an extended form of my own self?
My personal gnosis had told me a cosmology… that there was a source of manifestation/creation. From that extended a “self” and this “self” ranged from the finite human body, all the way to a very expansive form. This was like a field, that extended everywhere… and all of us have this field of self. It is our awareness that locks us into a belief we are a human body. By shifting this awareness, we can shift into an expanded sense of self.
Perhaps that feeling (presence) I had in the Buddhist temple… that felt like the Christian church’s altar, that felt like the Auditing in Scientology, that felt like the presence in Hinduism, the Hermetic schools… what if it wasn’t Source/God, but an extended form of my self? That’s why it felt so familiar everywhere I went….
Back to the Beginning (Karma)
Perhaps Karma, and Emptiness work when we accept them as reality, because we are programming our Lesser Magic (LBM.) Our belief and intent is the magic, but it is controlled and set by boundaries of our own making…
A belief that “occultism is evil,” causes the Catholic playing the Ouija board to “summon satan.” The Hermeticist sets a boundary that Enochian magic is dangerous… and when attempting it, from that belief, chaos ensues.
Just like the successes, the false alerts of failure and danger are also a product of this deep level of programming.
When I got out of debt by giving money to the poor and needy, it was due to my true intent and belief that this worked. I was performing lesser black magic.
Likewise, when I was a young occultist and performed a working against someone, I too was harmed (they lost their job, I lost mine.) This again, could be related to the boundaries of karma that I still believed in.
Maybe karma is an institution in many faiths, to protect people from performing lesser black magic willy nilly. If Jack believes his work will harm another, then he harms himself instead. The programming could make it difficult to affect drastic changes. Maybe it’s there for a reason.
Am I saying that external beings do not exist? No. If the “self” of each of us exists outside the body, then there is logically something non-corporeal and I would be a fool to think we’re the only forms of existence.
I’ve also had physical manifestations on rare occasions, so I do believe that there are external beings. However, I think it’s very plausible that we can somehow effect our surroundings in the name (or evocation) of a being. It may be our own nature at times. The only way to know is to really be in touch with a deep sense of feeling and to feel what it is that we are interacting with.
Sense of Connection
What about that sense of connection, of union that I’ve felt over the years. This is not something I feel all the time, but at times when I’m in a deep meditative state, I do feel this connection with other life.
Why is that?
I assumed before, in my theory of Henosis, that this was evidence of the connection of all things.
There are two ideas I’m now considering:
First: Perhaps I’m connecting with the creation point in each being. There is an outside creation point, and that point can be connected to in each thing. Like shards of light from the one source.
Second: From the articulation of Aquino and the Temple of Set, the Subjective Universe would be my personal totality of self. As is yours. Everything I see in my universe is seen through this Subjective Universe (at some identification of self.) As such, could I be picking up on that extended self that is creating the objects in my Subjective Universe?
That second point… am I saying I created you, the reader? No. But if I were to meet you, there is a you that you know… and there is the you that I perceive. My perception of you is based on my filters – my subjective universe, as well as my awareness of self. Am I at the level of the body? Or am I relating to you at the level of an expanded sense of self.
What I’m looking at then is not you, in your totality, but rather I’m seeing you, being rendered by me. There’s part of me involved, in order to recognize you.
Then it follows that again, I could be touching/sensing the same thing in you, that is in me, because I’m feeling an extended form of my “self” that is showing the Objective elements to me in a way I can understand. Likewise, you are doing it as well… as is everyone.