Last night I had an interesting experience. I’ve been going into the chamber for meditation purposes and my oratory to Lucifer, for quite some time now. I started this path in June of 2019 with supplications to my higher self (Daemon) for guidance.
In time that guidance led me to the call of Lucifer. I formally disconnected from my past religious constraints in July, and adopted a practice focused on the LHP energies (Set, Satan, Lucifer, etc). In time this turned into a focus mainly upon Lucifer.
Up to this moment there wasn’t really any sense of fear or trepidation. Perhaps if I sat in complete darkness, a sense of the unknown would add a tinge of fear, but nothing out of the ordinary.
That changed last night. As I walked into my chamber set aside for this work, I felt a presence. Immediately I was struck with fear. The hair on my arms shot up. I fought the fear and calmed myself. I performed my oratory to the Daemon.
Standing in the South, looking across the central flame/altar to the Northern altar, I continued my oratory of my goals. I began to have, for the first time, fearful ideas pop in my head… “what if the books on the shelf flew at me?” “Did something just move my hand?”
There was a sense of panic in the air. This was very unusual to me. In my mind’s eye, it was as though there was a dark figure looming near me. This isn’t something I saw with my eyes, but in my mind it felt like a dark shape was always nearby.
Forcing myself to relax, I walked to face the Northern wall – looking into the Wood burning I made in honor of the path… and I verbalized my commitment and goals… to be set free.
Afterwards I closed the session and left the room.
Thinking upon the events, I realized the fear was palpable. I really felt a strong presence in the room with me. Before falling asleep, I called out to my higher self and asked what this may have been.
I felt that this is a test of fear, to push on through the fear is the requirement in this test.