Last night, I went into my chamber and called and meditated upon the Daemon. But I utilized an emotion I haven’t used before: pain.
In the chamber I was feeling this sense of isolation, this depression if you will. I have been carrying it around with me, so here I was walking in with this baggage.
Rather than putting the baggage aside, I pulled it up. I dug it out. Remembering the points of isolation, why I feel this way, how I feel this way… amplifying it, I pushed it out and let it power the work last night.
There seems to be something here with pain. This emotional pain could power the work, as I’m sure any kind of emotion or sensation. Having never worked with this, it’s new to me.
What I ended with, was scrying a Tarot Trump of the Hanged Man. This brought up some things. I discovered something holding me back, something I needed to let go of. What I was holding onto was part of my identity. But it wasn’t really me. It was my need to be right, and in doing so I was seeking people out and fighting with them… I had to let this go, in order to expand my sense of self.
In other words, I was the sacrifice, and what was sacrificed were those aspects of me holding me back from gnosis.