Tonight’s work I felt the need to step into a room in complete darkness. There was no light, none. Not even a candle. I stood facing a wall and expressed my feelings of goals and of personal failures. Earlier (and lately) I’ve noticed an anger within me. The physical world has taken a front seat to my daily life and as there are hardship here, they translate into frustrations. But these frustrations force me to focus at the most limited expression of my nature (the limited human.)
Reaching in, I pulled out my anger. My will was so strong. I drove that anger out of me, concentrating it in the darkness, between my hands. I gave it a new goal: Show me Truth. Again I reached in and pulled out my other issues of the day… reprogramming these strong feelings until I had none of it left in my conscious mind.
There in the darkness, I saw an imagine. Perhaps imagination, perhaps not. But it was as though a shadow of a man sitting on a throne, facing me. I asked my questions and got my answers. Who this was, I can’t say – perhaps it was an expression of me. Perhaps my imagination. Perhaps an external being. I leave it open, and hold no strong bias to this point.
One repeated notion that came up, is that I’m holding onto certain people… people I need to let go of, as they are holding me back. I’ve driven out old friendships, family and the like. Searching my thoughts I discovered what I needed to let go of. This time it was people who I am associated with, but no longer am in agreement. Older philosophies and organizations that sought Union with an external divinity. I have been pondering those days and find my words and thoughts going back to these people in argument and frustration. Now I see the message. These people need to be let go of. These old situations offer me nothing but frustration. In the moment I formally removed my interest in these past RHP organizations and people.
I had a moment of Gnosis. I was aware that I know everything I need to know (or have access to this knowledge) to get my goal of Supreme Individuality (alignment to the expanded Self – the Daemon.)
I also realized that there’s no trophy to brag about. Nothing to write about, in order to brag to others. My thoughts are becoming less expressed in this blog. I’m find my path is more in the doing and less in the speaking/writing. It has no title. No trophies. No fantastic stories. Those days were once there, but no longer.
This Path of Darkness is unlike any I’ve trod before. I don’t feel a need to say “look what I’ve done.” That was the old me… which still is splattered across my older posts on this blog, or other blogs of mine. Now it seems there is no need to stake my accomplishments.
The Path of Darkness is a Void, a dark place from which all Being comes. My bias, my belief (at this moment), is that my awakening to the totality of Self will codify into a singularity… from which a new expression of creation may form from the true Will of Self.